When God asks you to do something “dumb”

Several months ago Michael (the hubs) told me that he was feeling led to quit his job {insert: good, stable income} to start his own insurance agency. We knew this would be a huge financial cut for us, so we started praying and making decisions. We put our house on the market, I took a part-time job, I also picked up some houses to clean, we cut back on our monthly expenses, paid off as much debt as possible, and then started praying about the kids’ school. For the past 2 years they have been in a private school. But it wasn’t just a school for us…..it was a family. We LOVE this school and everyone in it. I subbed a lot at this school, so I saw first hand how the Lord was so evident in everything that went on there. That was important to us. Private school is expensive, but my kids being exposed to God on a daily, minute-to-minute basis, is priceless!

However…a few months ago, God started pricking at my heart about homeschooling. Let me just say for the record, I have NEVER been the type to say or think that homeschool would ever be an option!!! I mean, c’mon….I’m not qualified, nor did I care to be. I was totally fine with paying someone else to teach my kids. I was totally ok with my kids being gone from 7:30-2:30….because it gave us all some “me” time and we could spend each afternoon/night together. It was a win/win for everyone. But God didn’t think so. And honestly….neither did our bank account. Something had to change. It was either public school or homeschool. And little by little, God continued to give me a peace about homeschooling my kids. I was excited, and the kids were excited.

But then it happened. Homeschool happened. Brother/sister nagging happened. From sunrise to sunset. And then the first meltdown happened. No, the kids didn’t have a meltdown. Mama did. Last night the weight of everything just overwhelmed me. Do I really have what it takes? Did God really call me to this? Am I going to lose my mind? Have I already? Thankfully my husband saw the meltdown for what it was, and he went to get tacos and wine! We talked, watched a movie, and went to bed in hopes that (today) would bring a fresh perspective.

I started the day off in The Word. We listened to praise music as we ate breakfast. We started our lesson for the day, and everything was going good. Until….Charlotte’s Web. It’s our “Read Aloud” for the month, which means we all read a couple chapters aloud each day together. Today I thought it would be fun to read outside on the front porch. Little did I know that the front porch would provide a lot of distractions, which in turn, led to a lot of frustration. I threw the book down, sent the kids to their rooms, and messaged Michael …..”I can’t do this anymore. The kids are going to public school.” He sent a text back that said “Let’s talk about it tonight.”

Ha. Before we’ve had a chance to sit down and talk about it, God wanted to talk to me about it. We went to church tonight and of course the sermon was just for me. It went a little something like this….

“What to do when life’s too much?” (haha, ok God, you’ve got my attention)

#1-call out to Jesus (ok, check. I’m continuously calling out to you)

#2- do what He says (you’ve told me to homeschool, instead of sending them back to Hartfield or public school. I don’t understand it, and it’s really quite dumb when I sit and think about it. I’m not qualified. I’m not patient. I’m losing my mind. But if it’s what you’ve called me to, I know you’ll send me through. And I know that you don’t call the qualified. You qualify the called.)

#3- give praise and thanks to God (Thank you. Thank you for my 2 beautiful babies. Thank you for their health. Thank you for a supportive husband. Thank you for the resources and people you’ve put in my life. Thank you for who YOU are. Thank you for never leaving me. Thank you for taking this weight off my shoulders and carrying it on yours. I will praise you each day. Through the good times and the bad.)

Sometimes God calls us to do “dumb” things because He wants to test our obedience. Trust and obey. There’s no other way. So, today and every day…..I will trust and obey.

You may not be facing this exact same situation, but we all know what it feels like when “Life’s too much.” So, call out to Him. Listen and do what He says (even if it sounds dumb). And then give Him thanks, because He will walk each step with you.

Goodnight, friends!


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