Hey! How are you?

Have you ever been asked that question, or ever asked someone that question?

Probably so.

It’s such a common way to greet someone in passing. And the common response is almost always “I’m fine. How are you?” Which is then reciprocated with “I’m fine. Good to see you.”

I mean, come on!!! Are you REALLY fine? 9 times out of 10, no! We’re all guilty of this daily lie. We tell it to the cashier at Target. We tell it to the bagger at Kroger. We tell it to people we pass in the hallway at church, or the moms we pass when we’re dropping our kids off at school. We even tell it to our husbands when we’re sulking around the house and he asks “What’s wrong?”…and we say “Nothing. I’m fine.” Yeah. Right. He knows it, and we know it.

So, why do we continue to lie. Day in and day out. Over and over. Most of the time (for me) it’s for the sake of time. I mean, do you REALLY want me to tell you how I am. If so, take a seat and grab a cup of coffee, cause this is gonna take a while. Sometimes I lie because I don’t really know you and I know you don’t really care how I am. But most of the time, I just want you to see my smile and hope you believe me when I say “Oh, I’m fine! Things are good! Life is great!”

It’s ok to NOT be ok. Just rest in that for a minute. It. Is. Ok. To. NOT. Be. Ok. But, let me take this a little further…..WHY are we not ok? Something I heard at church tonight made me think. Yeah, it’s ok to not be ok. I’ve always heard that. But WHY am I not ok? Why is my spirit so unsettled? Why do I have anxiety? Why am I exhausted? Why have I had a headache for 3 weeks straight?

Here’s what (Chad Lunsford) said tonight that was like a REVELATION to me…..

My feelings of {anxiety, depression, exhaustion, unsettledness, fatigue, failure} are just a misunderstanding of God’s expectations of me.

….read that again.

Whoa! When he said that, I realized that I’m trying to live up to expectations that are unattainable. And not only that….they don’t come from the Lord. They’re expectations that I unknowingly am setting for myself….as a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and Christian.

I’ve already confessed to y’all that I end most days feeling like a failure. Let me tell you why……because I snapped at my kids…. because I didn’t check off anything on my to-do list….because I STILL haven’t gone by to see my husband’s new office….because we’re out of groceries and we’ve eaten pizza 4 times this week!!!!!!!!!

But does God look down and say: “Tonya, you are slacking. Step it up a notch. I’m disappointed in your performance today.” No, he doesn’t. Just like in Luke 10: 38-42, when Martha invites Jesus to her house and is running around like a crazy person: cooking, cleaning, making sure everyone is comfortable….but her sister Mary is sitting at Jesus’s feet just enjoying His company. Martha gets mad because she is DOING everything while Mary is DOING “nothing.” And Jesus says to Martha, “Martha, dear Martha, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. Only one thing is essential, and Mary has chosen it.” (The Message translation)

Only ONE thing is essential. To abide in the Lord. And to abide means to obey, observe, follow, uphold, accept, respect. That’s all He wants from us. Those are His expectations of us. Nothing more.

Just ABIDE in Him and stop trying to live up to impossible expectations!!! That’s what I’m going to do!

Goodnight, friends!


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