How do you feel?

How do you feel tonight? As you recap your day, how do you feel? Do you feel exhausted? Like a failure? Like a rockstar? Do you feel worried? Fearful? Excited? Hopeful? Do you feel thankful? Blessed? In need of grace? In need of a drink?

At the end of each day, my feelings start overwhelming me. Some nights, I give myself a high five because of the super awesome things I did that day. But most nights, I pour myself a glass of wine and tuck my head under the covers.

But I heard something the other day that has stuck with me…..”Don’t let your feelings overwhelm your faith.” Wow. Wow. Wow.

Most days I feel like I’ve failed more than I’ve succeeded. I start each day with good intentions. Actually, great intentions. But they turn into complete frustrated failures. Today I gave both kids a big(moving) box and told them to make something out of it. At first, they were both SO excited. But after 5 minutes, their excitement turned into frustration. And their frustration made me irritable. And my irritableness then turned the tone of the home into absolute chaos. And the chaos made me want to run for the hills! Like, why did I even suggest this? Just get your iPads and go to your rooms!!!! UGH!!!

But of course, my quiet time this morning was about this very thing. “How Many Times Do I Have To Tell You?” It was talking about parents disciplining their children. I mean, how many times do we have to tell our kids that “so and so” is not acceptable? And to stop doing “so and so.” But really….how many times does God tell us that very same thing? Tonya, stop arguing with me and just do what I’ve asked. Tonya, just clean up that mess like I’ve asked you to. Tonya, stop talking back to me. Tonya, get off your {electronic device} and find something more meaningful to do. Wow. Ok, God, I get it.

So many times my feelings take precedence over my faith. I know what God wants from me. What He thinks of me. But my feelings tell me different. My feelings say: You’ve failed. You’re too far gone. You’re kids are past the age of impression. They’re a lost cause, because you haven’t been good enough.

But my faith says: God is good. He fills in the gaps that I create. His mercy is new every morning. His grace is sufficient. His love is unconditional.

My feelings don’t define me. My faith is in who God is. Not in who I am. I have to constantly remind myself of that. I have feelings, yes. But I also have faith. And my faith is in Christ alone. That He can fill in the missing puzzle pieces, and that He can set the tone of this home when I’m ready to call it quits. Thank you, Lord, for your mercy and grace. I need it today and every day.

Goodnight, friends!

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